defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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