If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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