what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
