The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
