ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
