so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
