what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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