I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Do vagina's smell?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
