I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
