at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
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Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
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I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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