Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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