i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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