Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
