Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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