An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
