Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
