Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
