Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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