i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
