I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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