Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
