I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
