oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
