Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
