ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
