She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Randomize
