I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
