Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts

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  (908): I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts http://tfl.nu/1w8r
  Replies (28) Good night (5039) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.

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  (434): I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes. (1-434): Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/t985
  Replies (54) Good night (1533) Bad night (13610)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?

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  (718): did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are? http://tfl.nu/17ys
  Replies (17) Good night (4062) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever

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  (850): She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever http://tfl.nu/uwj0
  Replies (18) Good night (6075) Bad night (1381)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since

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  (907): He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since http://tfl.nu/78cc
  Replies (2) Good night (2450) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same

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  (810): I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same http://tfl.nu/4oc8
  Replies (6) Good night (2543) Bad night (1270)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.

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  (386): its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea. http://tfl.nu/ey40
  Replies (3) Good night (1231) Bad night (1939)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?

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  (563): I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one? http://tfl.nu/bi5f
  Replies (11) Good night (1340) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?

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  (610): Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits? http://tfl.nu/td8v
  Replies (15) Good night (2053) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see

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  (973): Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see http://tfl.nu/gnrw
  Replies (5) Good night (1131) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.

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  (806): Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times. http://tfl.nu/evhw
  Replies (9) Good night (961) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.

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  (202): I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part. http://tfl.nu/p8tj
  Replies (2) Good night (429) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  So this bar tattoo not looking that great now

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  (850): So this bar tattoo not looking that great now http://tfl.nu/4o0g
  Replies (6) Good night (259) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box

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  (423): Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box http://tfl.nu/1krj
  Replies (6) Good night (433) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.

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  (562): The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico. http://tfl.nu/31h6
  Replies (3) Good night (733) Bad night (200)

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