Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
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I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
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Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.