maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?