my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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