Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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