At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
