I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
