I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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