I swear she didn't look like that last week.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Randomize
