Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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