doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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