and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
