It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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