Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Less talking, more tequila
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.