after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful