You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.