i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.