I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.