Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
