ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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