Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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