I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
