Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
