Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
