no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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