and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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