More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
