I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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