I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.