Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.