guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.