2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
i think my cat just said my name.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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