The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize