I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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