fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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