am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
