She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
